Mom Burnout: The Struggle Is Real!
Whether you are a new mom, an old mom, a stay-at-home mom, or a mom who works outside the house, chances are there are some days when the overwhelm is well…overwhelming. What are the most common mom burnout symptoms and what are some ways to combat it?
According to Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, author of Mommy Burnout, “Parents today want to create the ideal childhood for their children. Women strive to be the picture-perfect Pinterest mother that looks amazing, hosts the best birthday parties in town, posts the most “liked” photos, and serves delicious, nutritious home-cooked meals in her neat, organized home after ferrying the kids to school and a host of extracurricular activities on time. This drive, while noble, can also be destructive, causing stress and anxiety that leads to “mom burnout.” Source: Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, Mommy Burnout. Accessed Sept 12,2022.
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Let’s start with some tell-tale mom or parental burnout symptoms:
- Feeling exhausted all the time: physically, mentally, and emotionally
- Feeling anxious, distracted, or like your mind is all over the place
- Brain fog, trouble concentrating
- Feeling detached from your kids, family, or friends
- Feelings of isolation, loneliness, or sadness
- Feeling that you can’t enjoy just being in the moment, always thinking of the things that you need to get done
- Feeling unproductive or ineffective for example, not being able to keep up with housework/clutter
- Feeling irritated by the slightest little thing, emotional outburst, crying, moodiness
- Trouble sleeping, hair loss, headache, stomachache, changes in appetite
Moms may feel stressed and guilty because they feel like they aren’t doing enough for their kids’ happiness or they just have a general feeling of self-doubt, lack of self-love, or imposter syndrome.
I think the first thing that you need to realize is that you aren’t alone and mom burnout, also known as overwhelmed mom syndrome, is very common!
If you think for one second that you’re the only mom who struggles to keep it together, has very bad days, is exhausted, overwhelmed, or snaps at her kids sometimes you’re wrong. Most moms, dare I say, all of us, have days like these. We’re not perfect, we’re human. Thankfully there are some fairly easy steps we can take to pull ourselves up and out of this funk we call mommy burnout.
10 Tips To Help Deal With Mom Burnout
1) First of all, be honest with yourself. Assess and acknowledge the feelings you are having and that you may be suffering from mom burnout.
2) Be as kind to yourself as you would to another mom. Give yourself some grace and realize you are not alone. In fact, most of us feel this way at one time or another
3) Lower the bar. Just lower it. You’re only human and you are one person. Prioritize certain things over others but just let some things take a back seat.
4) Give yourself credit where credit is due.. Take a step back and really look at your accomplishments, have pride in the things you do very well.
5) Stop comparing yourself to other moms you know or moms on social media. A lot of people who come off as having the perfect stress-free life and constant family harmony aren’t being totally transparent. It’s always best face forward for the camera, an illusion if you will. Instead of buying into that fantasy, find mom influencers who give you the real deal, bad hair days and all, and who find the humor in it.
6) Don’t let anyone “mom shame” you. Period. Along with this, learn to say “No”. You can’t possibly say yes to every volunteer position, bake sale, PTA, or little league meeting. Set boundaries for yourself and don’t let anyone guilt you into something you don’t have time for or aren’t genuinely interested in.
7) Talk to someone about it: your spouse or significant other, a trusted friend, your mom, your pastor, or maybe even a counselor or therapist. Having a conversation about it and seeing things from other perspectives can be a great source of support.
8) Get outside help with just one thing to make your life easier if it’s within your means. Maybe that means hiring a housekeeping service once a month or getting meals delivered occasionally. If your kids are old enough, they should also be helping with household chores. Your partner should be helping with household responsibilities as well. Remember, many hands make light work!
9) Schedule time in your daily routine to do something just for you every day. Something that brings you joy, whether it be taking a short nap, reading a book, journaling, going for a walk, doing some yoga, or meditating. Just an hour per day, just for you. An hour to nourish your soul. In the grand scheme of things, carving out 7 hours a week for “Me Time” isn’t too much to ask.
10) Plan a spa day or a night out on the town with girlfriends or if you can swing it, a weekend away. No kids, no spouse, take off your mom hat, and let your hair down! Reconnecting with good friends and people you love can be really rejuvenating and a great way to combat mom burnout symptoms.
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Wrapping Up
I’ll end with just a brief recap, a little cheat sheet if you will. Feel free to write these down on post-it notes and put them somewhere you will see them each day. Sometimes little affirmations along with visual reminders can help to keep us on track with self-care.
Acknowledge the feelings of mom burnout that you are having
Give yourself some grace, self-love
- Lower the bar
- Give yourself credit for the things you do well
- Stop comparing yourself to other moms
- Don’t let anyone mom shame you, set boundaries
- Talk openly about your feelings to someone you trust
- Enlist outside help with some household responsibilities
- Take an hour a day, every day, just for you
- Plan a kid-free fun activity or a night out with girlfriends
I hope some of these tips can alleviate some of the mommy burnout symptoms you are dealing with. Take a deep breath, give yourself a big hug, and remember that you’re doing the best you can. We all are.
Until next time, K.
Kelly Blakely is the founder and creative force behind Just Our View From Here. As a first-time mom over 40, she brings a fresh perspective to parenting and family life on her blog. Kelly also explores a wide range of lifestyle topics in her writing, including fashion, beauty, self-care, and well-being.
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