I'm Going Grey And Ready To Rock It ~ Just Our View From Here

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Even Though Growing Out My Grey Hair Was Never In My Game Plan

“I bet you could rock it”, said Isabel

“Me? Go grey? Oh, I don’t know about that…I think I’ll wait a little while, at least until my son is in high school”, I laughingly replied.

It was early December of last year I was a guest on a podcast called First Time Moms Beyond 35. As the host, Isabel and I chatted about all things motherhood and looking and feeling fab after 40, the topic of grey hair popped up. I said that I am still dying my hair so as not to look like a granny but I do see this silver sister trend gaining steam lately. To which my gracious host replied, “I bet you could rock it”.

As it turns out, that was a pivotal moment even if I didn’t know it at the time.

I’ll admit it. I was one of those women who said I’d never go grey. I thought I would dye my hair until I was at least 70, and maybe beyond that. After all, I had a baby later in life at age 46 and I didn’t want to look like his granny before my time.

I’ll admit I was of the mindset that grey hair would make me look old and I wasn’t having any of it. I would dye my hair to the end, or pretty darn close to it anyway.

But last year something shifted.

going grey with highlights gray hair transition at 50 — My Grey Hair Transition: 6 months

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The Grey Hair Trend

I began to ponder the idea of embracing my greys. I started seeing more and more of these “silver sisters’ on Instagram, Tik Tok, and other platforms and I was intrigued.

Not to mention, one of my favorite YouTube beauty bloggers, Nichole Johnson stopped dying her beautiful dark brown hair in 2017 (before the current trend was even born) and looks amazing with grey hair.

Who were these gorgeous creatures with these lovely silver locks? Who were these beautiful ladies of every age, color, shape, and size from every walk of life embracing their grey hair and growing it out shamelessly, confidently, (skunk stripes and all!!) for the whole world to see?

They absolutely did NOT look like grannies to me. They looked incredible, confident, bad-ass, and dare I say downright youthful!

I was inspired!

And it wasn’t even like they all had cut their hair into pixie cuts (a great idea if you want to shorten your transition) or shaved their heads. So many of them had medium length and long hair which is the route I’m taking. That was encouraging!

I suppose this is when the seed was planted. I thought to myself…perhaps grey is just another hair color after all. And maybe, just maybe I could actually pull it off.

Roots Showing After 2 Weeks

Of course, I’d known for years that the greys were under there. They lurked just beneath the surface of my scalp…peeking out to say hello at seemingly shorter and shorter intervals between hair appointments.

In my 30s, they were few and far between but now they were an army. And I was getting a bit battle-weary of the war. Having to touch up my roots every 6 weeks was a thing of the past. Now they were starting to show after only 2 weeks.

My hair grows pretty fast which is a blessing and a curse I suppose. For this very reason, I’ve never been afraid of getting a big chop or doing something a little crazy with my hairstyle (especially back in the day). But this whole seeing this white stripe down my part basically every month was a royal pain in the ass.

Grey Hair, Gray Hair, Salt And Pepper Or Silver?

One of the first things to do at the start of transitioning to grey is to have a peek at what color your hair actually is under all that dye! Do you have gray, silver, salt and pepper, white, or a combination? It’s kind of interesting to see what comes up!

The first step I took was to stop doing home root touch-ups in between hair appointments. Instead, I just used root touch-up spray and it worked like a charm. Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t start using it years ago. As I did this and let my roots grow in naturally between trims I started to actually look at my hair more closely.

I wasn’t fully committed to growing out my grey yet but I was indeed curious.

So, this was a good way to test the waters, just dip a toe in to see how much gray, silver, or salt and pepper hair was actually under there and to see the type of pattern I had going on.

Honestly, like many of us, I wasn’t really sure anymore what my natural hair color was, having dyed it for so long.

Even before I started going grey I used to dye for fun. I did some pretty crazy things with platinum blonde and clippers to my locks in high school just for kicks. Maybe like me, you were a teenager in the ’80s or ’90s and participated in the trend of putting “Sun-In” or lemon juice in your hair to lighten it and get that California look. A lot of us brunettes can still picture that not-so-lovely shade of orange!

Anyway, the point is, I’ve never been that afraid of doing drastic things to my hair. My mother would attest to that. (Sorry Mom!)

going grey gracefully — Going Grey: 8 months into my transition

What Would I Look Like With Grey Hair?

I could see my natural color for the first time in years and it got me curious.

The curiosity got me to pondering…should I take the plunge and jump on this transitioning to grey hair trend? Could I be a silver sister too? How would it look?

Then a childhood friend of mine who happens to be an author wrote an inspiring article about her own journey to grey hair and it popped up on my Instagram. Another sign from the Universe…

Benefits of Growing Out Grey Hair

I began contemplating the many benefits of growing out my grey. Imagining the freedom of not having to worry about roots anymore or making sure hair appointments were scheduled close to special social occasions or holidays was appealing as hell. Imagining not camouflaging those pesky roots but instead just embracing them was a truly novel idea.

Hair free of dyes and chemicals would be the end result of this process. And yes, I’ll be honest…I thought with delight about the money I would be saving at the hair salon down the line.

Was it worth a shot? Would I love it or hate it? Either way, I was about to find out.

Something switched in my mind during that time and I knew when I went in to see my stylist Sarah the following week I was going to tell her not to touch my roots. So began my grey hair journey.

going gray gray hair transition — Thinking of embracing your grey hair?

Transitioning to Grey Hair With Highlights

I decided that making the transition to grey using highlights, lowlights, and blending was right for me. I always loved doing balayage on my hair with dark roots, caramel, blond, or beige highlights so I asked Sarah what my options were.

To keep the new growth from looking too harsh she worked her magic with some highlights to soften the demarcation line. She then applied a grey hair toner which resulted in a nice ashy greige color and said let’s see what it looks like in 6 more weeks. By then she would be able to see what kind of hair greying patterns were happening.

If you decide to go this route be sure to keep your hair as healthy as possible along the way. Use purple hair products to beat brassiness and of course use good quality conditioners, serums, scalp scrubs, or hair masks. Since this process still involves hair dye it is ultra important to keep your hair nourished and minimize damage and breakage.

Two affordable purple shampoo and conditioner brands I’ve used and like so far are Jhirmack and John Frieda’s Violet Crush.

DIY Lavender and Peppermint Scalp Scrub For Hair Growth and Detox

Going Grey Gracefully Or Awkwardly

Both can be true at the same time! Some days you may find you think your hair looks pretty awesome, and feel gracefully put together. On other days you may feel really uncomfortable with it. Whether you choose to do highlights and blending along the way or just go cold turkey and grow it all out naturally, some days are simply better than others.

Such is life. But in the end, it’s just hair. And you can always go back to dying it after trying it.

Some ladies find the first little while awkward as did I when the roots are just starting to show. After all, this is a whole new look and takes some getting used to! Using root touch-up spray at this early point in your grey hair transition may help you on those uncomfortable days as can wearing fun hats or hair scarves.

Currently, I am 8 months into transitioning to grey and am actually liking my hair right now. At this point, it’s obvious that it is being done intentionally and not that I’m not just skipping hair appointments. There are a ton of these “wisdom highlights” in the front and on the sides and it’s a pretty nice silvery white. The silver has almost reached my bun and I am pretty geeked about that! The back of my head doesn’t have a lot of grey at all so it will be interesting to see how that plays out.

The Silver Sister Community

As I continue to peruse the accounts of my silver sisters on social media, I find encouragement, positivity, and humor. It is a very welcoming community of real-life women embracing their grey and silver strands and knowing that…no, grey hair doesn’t automatically mean “old”. They are working really hard to uplift women and end the stigma surrounding grey hair.

And yes, there are and will always be some haters with rude comments and Negative Nancys in the comment section (especially if you choose to share your journey in a more public light).

The keyboard warriors of this world we live in today are so stunningly brave, aren’t they?

But for every rude comment I see, there are plenty more kind and encouraging remarks. That’s where I tend to put my focus, on the positive.

going grey gray gracefullyy my transition to silver hair

More Silver Sisters’ Grey Hair Tips, Encouragement & Inspiration!

Grey Hair Don’t Care

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the older you get, the less you care about other people’s opinions of you. I’m starting to believe it is partly a GenX thing…we are just doing middle age our own way. Why am I not surprised? Ha!

I just tend to view getting older as a blessing and we all should navigate it how we so choose. As with all choices we make in life, as long as we’re not hurting anybody else, who cares? If you want to dye your hair for the rest of your life, more power to you. If you are going grey at 30 and want to embrace it, I support you 100%!

It’s time to get rid of this notion that grey hair equals old. Especially for women! I’ve always found it kind of strange that when a man starts to go grey he is viewed by our society as distinguished but for a woman, it is equated with “letting herself go”. But that’s a whole separate topic…

You see, the beauty of this whole grey hair thing is that it’s up to you, all of it. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s just hair. Who knows, maybe you’ll try it, get to the finish line, hate it, and want to go back to dyeing. Personally, I don’t think I will but who knows. We all reserve the right to change our minds right?

Have Fun With Your Grey Hair Transition!

If you’re sick of dying your grey roots and have been thinking of transitioning to grey hair, there’s no time like the present. Why not try it? Arm yourself with some patience, some funky hair scarves, wraps, or funky hats, and wade into the world of the silver sisters for inspiration and encouragement. Make it fun and find joy in the journey.

Good luck and let me know about your grey hair journey in the comments! I’d love to hear more silver sister stories. 🙂

Until next time, K.

Kelly Blakely is the founder and creative force behind Just Our View From Here. As a first-time mom over 40, she brings a fresh perspective to parenting and family life on her blog. Kelly also explores a wide range of lifestyle topics in her writing, including fashion, beauty, self-care, and well-being.