Why Self-Acceptance Is So Very Important Postpartum
Carrying a baby for 9 months, growing an actual human being inside of you is a miracle. It is one of the most amazing things in the whole world, and obviously changes your body in one of the most dramatic ways you will ever experience as a woman! But please, please, PLEASE! Never hate your new body after baby!
This postpartum time can be difficult. Self-acceptance and self-love will be the greatest gifts you can give yourself as you adjust to your new body. I am not speaking of postpartum depression, which is a very serious mental condition that needs to be treated by health care professionals. I’m just talking about ordinary, everyday self-criticism.
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Think of it this way, if you had a friend who had just delivered a baby or was 6,9 or 12 months postpartum, how would you speak to her? Would you judge her as harshly as you judge yourself?
Would you tell her she is a lazy, fat slob and that she better get off her butt to lose that baby weight?? I seriously doubt it.
Why on earth are we so ridiculously hard on ourselves? Can we not extend that basic kindness that we would show to a friend to our own selves?
So How Do You Learn Not To Hate Your New Body After Baby?
Is that even possible? Yep, you betcha. You can even go beyond that and really learn to love your new mom bod. Call me crazy but as I’ve gotten a bit older I have come to realize that I am more than my body size, shape, or the number on the scale.
I have never been and will never be a size 2, maybe you aren’t either, and guess what?
THAT’S OK! Rock Those Curves!
Or perhaps your goal is to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight. That’s certainly an attainable goal! But remember, even if you do, the weight may be distributed differently, and that’s quite alright. And don’t even get me started on the whole BMI chart thing! (Heaven forbid you have some muscle mass on your frame that pushes your number on the scale up).
Why does society make us feel as though we should erase any trace of our pregnancy? I’m not buying it. Your stretch marks are your battle scars and they need to be viewed as a badge of honor. A tiger who has earned her stripes so to speak.
The main thing is to live in the present and realize this is the body you are in today. A little appreciation for how incredible it is will go a long, long way.
Give Yourself Time To Adjust To Your New Postpartum Body
In any case, you must GIVE YOURSELF TIME. Let’s face it, your body just went through quite the ordeal.
It takes awhile to recover from the 9 months of pregnancy, the hormonal changes you are experiencing, the labor and delivery, or the C-section. I cannot stress enough how important the time factor is.
The fact of the matter is, you are strong, healthy and fully capable of learning how to love your body again.
Look at what you just accomplished, and appreciate and respect the champion that you are!
Reframe The Way You Look At Yourself
It’s about reframing your perspective, especially as a new mom when your body still feels all wiggly and jiggly and your insides are just getting back to their original positions. I did wear a postpartum belly wrap like this one for the first little while after I delivered and it helped things get back to normal a little quicker. The whole weird and wobbly internal organ situation can be a bit unsettling, but it will pass. As I said, give it TIME.
Just consider this, you had a fully formed human being living inside you and taking up a fair amount of real estate in your tummy for the last little while.
Your body is an amazing machine and it really does deserve some praise and applause! You aren’t doing yourself justice at all if you looking in the mirror and body-shaming. PLEASE, give yourself a break!
It all begins with a little self-care and honestly I know it’s difficult, especially in the very beginning to make that a priority. As a new mom, your world has just completely changed and it’s all about baby (as it SHOULD be)!
You know, it’s like when you are sporting that awesome pregnancy bump and everyone wants to rub it and touch it, you are in the spotlight as the mummy-to-be.
I remember a few days before I went on my maternity leave, a co-worker approached me and very sweetly said (as she rubbed my belly), enjoy the attention now because after the baby comes you won’t be #1 anymore! We laughed but I thought, coming from a 3-time mom well… there must be some truth to it! Who doesn’t love a new, squishy little newborn to dote upon?
Be Kind To Yourself
This really IS the time for you and your partner to soak in those amazing newborn days and weeks. Bond with your baby and bask in the sheer miracle of it all. But at the same time make a conscious effort to practice just a little self-love! You musn’t hate your new body after baby, on the contrary you must love it all the more.
Go easy on yourself. Be kind. Don’t judge yourself so harshly!
The days and nights seem mixed up because you are getting broken sleep, nursing and/or pumping around the clock. Let’ me add THAT to the whole “Why’s just consider that fact for a wee moment shall we? Your body is an amazing machine to be loved and appreciated. For cripe’s sake… You are making milk! Helloooo!!
I remember those days of setting an alarm in the wee hours of the morning to pump (because I had to exclusively pump) for my little guy. Wandering around in that new mom zone of “When did I wash my hair last?” and “Is that spit-up on my shirt? Yep, don’t care.”
I’m pretty sure I was delirious from exhaustion on most days. Pretty normal behavior for brand new moms. Just don’t put yourself on the back burner for too long. You are too valuable a resource to let slide!
Focusing On Self-Care Postpartum is So Important!
When it IS time for you to start doing things for yourself again, ask for help when you need it. Your spouse or partner can be such a great source of support and usually, all you have to do is ask. They are more than capable of taking care of the baby while you sneak in an hour or two for yourself. Or maybe there is a family member or friend who would absolutely love to spend some quality time with your new little bundle of joy. Reach out to them for support!
You ARE a superhero, a goddess really… remember that but even superheroes need to recharge their batteries. It could come in the form of meditation, a leisurely walk (or a stroll around the mall perhaps? I’m all for retail therapy)!
Self-Care Ideas to Nurture Your Body, Mind, and Soul
At first, the focus will be on your physical healing postpartum. Yes, the lady bits are hurting A LOT, especially if you had tearing or an episiotomy. I made DIY padsicles and had a stash in the freezer and WOW, what a Godsend. Take some postpartum sitz baths, and REST when you can rest. I seriously felt like I didn’t walk right for 6 weeks because I had some pretty major tears everywhere down below. I was NOT one of those women who was back at the gym after a month.
Honestly, it took me a whole year to even get close to my pre-pregnancy weight, and even now I am a work in progress. I am not a slave to the scale, and I recommend that you don’t be either. Again, it’s all about giving yourself time to heal, inside AND out!
Eat a variety of fresh healthy foods, drink plenty of water, and when you’re ready to get back to whatever exercise routine feels good as a starting point. It can be as simple as pushing the stroller around the block or doing some gentle yoga stretches to start to work out the kinks. Start slowly and take as much time as you need!
Be Sure To Take Some Postpartum “Me Time”
Do something kind for yourself, whatever it is for YOU that revitalizes your mental well-being. Take a long, hot bubble bath with some Epsom salts and essential oils to relax you. I always find throwing on some really zen music while I’m soaking does wonders. Lock the bathroom door, your husband will be fine I promise you.
Maybe it’s just an uninterrupted two-hour nap! We all know sleep is a hot commodity for a new mom, and a power nap can really help! And yes, sleep when the baby sleeps. Everyone says it and for good reason. Just do it. The housework can slide a bit.
Go get your hair or nails done. Go shopping! Buy clothes for the body you have now and they DON’T HAVE TO BE FRUMPY! I’m all about comfort when it comes to style, but you can find a way to balance the two. The point is, something very small that you do for yourself can make a HUGE impact on your state of mind.
Postpartum Body Image Is A State Of Mind
- Learning how not to hate your new body after baby is a matter of adopting a positive mindset.
- Embracing yourself for the skin you’re in right now is actually very freeing.
- Stop judging yourself so harshly, remember those things you would never dream of saying to a friend? Don’t talk down to yourself either.
- Give yourself the same respect, love and patience.
- Appreciate your beautiful new mom body for bringing a new life into the world.
Enjoying The Journey As A New Mom
Motherhood is a journey enjoy it! I myself am in still the early stages myself (my son is now 3). Maybe it is due to the fact that I am an older mom and hopefully, a bit wiser (some days) or maybe it’s that whole attitude shift that comes when you are comfortable in your own skin. (ie. not giving a damn about what OTHER people think of your body). Even if you aren’t totally comfortable right now, you will get there!
Do I still have some clothes I’m hoping to fit into again after having a baby? Yes, but nothing that’s too far off the mark. Every season when I do my closet decluttering I let some more go. It’s a work in progress. Am I planning on incorporating some more fitness routines to shake things up and see what this amazing mom body is still capable of? Absolutely!
But I have chosen to give myself the gift of time because the one thing I know is, this time with my son as a preschooler is precious and I will never get it back. Working out 5 days a week right now while he is little just isn’t my top priority right now.
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Eat A Healthy, Balanced Diet
I am all for healthy eating but not hell-bent on doing restrictive diets, fasting or any other type of fad diet that may drop pounds quickly but not be sustainable long term. And I’m not giving up wine. Sorry, that just ain’t happening.
Think balance. Think long-term. Take your vitamins. Fuel your lovely new mom bod with healthy, energizing foods it needs to get you through those long days and sleepless night with a newborn. Or those crazy chasing toddler days… don’t you wish you could just bottle that energy??
Indulge in your favorite foods, drink the wine, soak up the sun. Realize that in this moment you are perfect and if you hate your new body after baby, you are doing yourself a great injustice.
Loving and accepting yourself and your postpartum body, in THIS moment, today is the most wonderful act of self-love that you can give to yourself. And Only YOU can do it.
Maybe your booty is a little bigger, maybe your boobs are a little saggier. We all get older and nature must take its course.
Keeping yourself fit as you age is definitely important but realizing that you may not have your exact pre-baby body again is equally as important! Time marches on, our bodies change as we get older, and that’s a fact of life. It’s not that big of a deal in the big picture of life.
It’s completely natural to miss your old boobs or your old bum but we mustn’t let it become all-consuming! The only constant in life is change and after you carry a baby inside of you for 9 months, things change!
Be the best version of yourself that you can be, whatever that looks like for you mama. Just remember to always, always, always be kind to yourself.
So, live your life in the present, and enjoy your babies for soon they will be children, then tweens, teens, and then all grown up and ready to fly the nest.
During this postpartum period and going forward, do what you need to do to love and appreciate yourself again. But do it for you… don’t succumb to any pressures you may feel from others or society about how you should look after becoming a mom.
Be yourself, be proud, practice self-love, and love the skin you’re in, belly pooch, stretch marks and all. And above all never, EVER hate your new body after baby. You are a beautiful, fierce woman and a force to be reckoned with!
Peace, Kelly
Kelly Blakely is the founder and creative force behind Just Our View From Here. As a first-time mom over 40, she brings a fresh perspective to parenting and family life on her blog. Kelly also explores a wide range of lifestyle topics in her writing, including fashion, beauty, self-care, and well-being.
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