More and more ladies are waiting until they are “middle age” to have babies. And let me tell you, having a baby at 40 (or beyond) comes with its share of ups and downs but we older moms are rockin’ it!
We’ve all seen those glamorous celebrities who get pregnant at so-called “advanced maternal age” right? I suppose they all have nannies to help them though, and they may be a bit less tired than some of us who don’t have that luxury.
Come to think of it, they probably all have maids, chefs and personal assistants in addition to nannies!
We Are The Older Moms
In real life, there’s us. The regular women from all walks of life, with different locations and occupations who have at least this one thing in common.
Our path in life brought us to the decision that having a baby at 40 (or close to it) was right for us. We do it all without the help of full-time staff, so yep we may look just slightly exhausted some days, but we have no regrets. There are some amazing benefits to being an older mom!
Oh yes, we remember listening to The Bee Gees on our 8 Track cassette players, Farrah Fawcet hairdos and flipping through Tiger Beat magazine to swoon over Shaun Cassidy.
We played Atari and had black rotary phones with cords a mile long on our kitchen walls. Children of the 70’s and 80’s, we grew up in a simpler era and now it’s our time to raise kids of our own.
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I am so happy to share this collection of stories from some amazing women who became older moms after 35 (even up to 46!) like me. Honestly, when I was TTC (trying to conceive) I scoured the internet for hours on end to find success stories about having a baby at 40.
Sometimes, it’s just that little glimmer of hope you need when the odds are against you.
Related: Becoming A First Time Mom Over 40
Having A Baby At 40 Is Not Something New
My Gramma had my Mom when she was 40 in 1939! At the time, however, obstetrics was obviously not as advanced and it was probably like, “Well OK you’re pregnant, see you in 9 months.”
The amount of monitoring, bloodwork, ultrasounds, and genetic testing to check on the health of your growing baby has advanced in leaps and bounds!
When we decided we wanted to try for a baby I was already way beyond what the obstetrics community considers advanced maternal age or high risk. At 44, I knew it was a long shot but my husband and I knew that we would do whatever it took to give it our best shot.
Over the course of 2 and 1/2 years, we did 3 IUI’s and 3 cycles of IVF. We ended up deciding to attempt a cycle with donor embryos after our own had failed.
It was our final shot, and thankfully, it worked. I knew I was considered high risk but ONLY because of the age of my body.
Related: 5 Things I Learned On Our IVF Journey
I was in excellent health but of course, due to my age (46), I was monitored for all the advanced maternal age issues they look for including high blood pressure, preeclampsia and gestational diabetes.
We chose not to do an amniocentesis since all the blood tests checking for potential issues with the baby were not concerning to my doctor.
All went well. I had a typical healthy pregnancy and I delivered a bouncing baby boy naturally in the summer of 2016.
There are so many reasons why women delay having their children in our modern society. Be it pursuing a career, lifestyle choices such as travel, or like me, not finding the right partner to have a child with until later in life.
The good news is, having a baby at 40+ is possible and actually not as uncommon as you may think.
So, without further ado, here they are. Meet the older Moms who are absolutely rockin’ it!
Nikki, 50
I am so thankful that I had Ben at 38 years old. I feel grounded now, which not so much at a younger age and I’ve done all I wanted to do as a single gal. Honestly, I missed NOTHING. It’s all about Ben. I am more mature, seasoned, and comfy with ME which makes me a better person, and in turn a better mom.
Karen H, 51
I was 3 months shy of 40 when I had Parker. I thoroughly enjoyed my 20s and 30s though I had a tough transition to motherhood. It was a rough first year which blossomed into all-encompassing love and pride. Looking back on having a baby at 40, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love my baby girl (now 11) to the moon and back.
Diane, 43
I was 36 when I became pregnant with twins.
The other moms in the baby groups were always younger, married just a couple of years. We were married 11 years when our first children came into our lives. Yep, TWINS! But I was mentally ready…secure in who I was and our marriage was strong.
We had conquered various trials that made us stronger so children at 36 and 40 were a new challenge. But we knew we could master it well and we have.
Deborah, 40
I had my youngest at 40….honestly, I think being older helped in so many ways. I was set in my career, financially responsible, but most importantly I learned patience.
Also, I was comfortable being at home, being with a family. There was no drive to “do more” or “be more” and I wanted to be a mom again. It’s been amazing to watch every aspect of my little ones’ lives!!
I was a mom at 19 and that was the toughest thing ever. Establishing a safety net, finances, etc. and doing it alone was even harder. Sometimes the speed that life pushes on at is crazy, making us forget the little (big) things that matter… home and family!
Jenn, 48
I met Ben when I was 37. We worked together but had very little to do with one another. As a staff we all went to a play and Ben and I ended up going for a drink afterward. By the end of the evening, he had moved in with me.
Needless to say, we knew very quickly that not only did we want to be with one another, but that we also wanted children together.
I think the main thing for me is that I never wanted to have babies with anyone prior to Ben, so in terms of timing (my age), it just couldn’t be helped! There are moments when I wished I had met Ben sooner, and possibly had a third baby but then would I have been ready for him?
I think the timing just played such a huge part in our coming together.
Personally, I had very little experience with babies, so I was not a confident mum at the start. Ben’s mum had been a nanny and he is the oldest of 3, so he was excellent. We worked really well as a team.
I did (and still do) feel like I have aged a heap since having the girls- but it is totally worth it. My priority is them not me, and I like that.
I was the oldest in my coffee group by a long shot, as well as the only one who did not have living parents for support. They were lovely, but I felt very different from them. I do live in a relatively small town, with some small-town attitudes…. so me being an older mum was a bit for some people to take, I think.
I was treated really well in the hospital, both times. But I definitely had more attention (and more wrist bands!) the second time. I was termed a geriatric mum. Lots of people popping in and out making sure I was ok! ( I was- no complications at all).
The challenge after Rosie though was the onset of premenopause. The stopping of the breastfeeding and the changing hormones, it was a very challenging time for me physically and emotionally. I am better now but I have weight gain that has been hard to shift.
So I guess I feel the last 8 years of my life have been spending time losing weight and gaining weight! Would it have been easier if I was younger? Maybe. But we have two beautiful, healthy girls…so lucky!
Jules, 47
I’m a single mother of a 20-year-old, (she’s self-sufficient) a 6 and a 7 year old. I’m 47! I wouldn’t change it for the world!!! It’s like doing it all over twice. I had to re-buy everything. Having kids is amazing and I got to go through the whole thing twice.
Did or has my age made things any different? I would have to say no. The only thing different is all my friends now who have kids are way younger than me and it doesn’t matter one bit.
You’re only as old as you feel and I think they keep me busy and young!
Is it hard? Sure, but no different than when I was in my 20’s. Times change, of course, so some of the safety rules have changed. Like car seat rules, laying on the back or belly, and no more walkers. I’m proud to be one of the older moms of older and younger children!
Melisa
I am the last of 6 and my Mom had me at 38. I only had 1 just shy of 37. Wouldn’t have done it any other way. As a child of older parents, I had always planned to have a baby later in life.
I always wanted a Year 2000 baby and I got him! But I always thought he would have older siblings. So at 36 and 11 months, I became a first and only time mom.
I enjoyed being an older mom. Admittedly I did not have the energy of a youthful parent, but I had more patience, more life experience and could see more humour in situations.
This certainly doesn’t mean as an older first- time mom I didn’t feel all the typical new mom insecurities, fears, and doubts. No matter your age being a brand new parent is a learning experience. And every new mom needs a friend, a shoulder to cry on and other mom friends for support.
The most fulfilling part of my life is my child even now as he is about to turn 19.
Karen M, 44
I had my last baby at 41 so of course, I’m in the “older moms category”. As everyone knows, risks go up with age although the majority will still have a healthy baby. My 3rd child was born with issues, but I have no regrets! He is an awesome addition!
When you have a baby as it is, there are no guarantees that there won’t be issues at some point in their lives even if they are not born with them.
I feel like being a Mom is the most important and rewarding job in the world regardless of what age you are.
Even after all this, (as crazy as people might think I am) I have considered having another one after he was born. Yes, it is hard, but anything that is worthwhile doesn’t come easy! If this wasn’t ok, our bodies would go through the change sooner.
I would tell any older mom who has fertility issues or maybe didn’t meet Mr. Right in time to just go for it. Don’t think it can’t happen because you are over 40!
Deb, 51
I was 40 when I had Trent and it had been 8 years since my last baby.
Definitely, I felt more prepared…. maybe because I had done it twice before or perhaps because I was older, wiser, patient, more settled and experienced.
I don’t necessarily feel more tired with him as I was with my daughters but he does have 3 moms taking care of him. (Daughters are now 18 and 20). At 51 now, I can’t say it was any harder having a baby at 40.
It’s Never Too Late To Follow Your Dreams
All these wonderful women have one thing in common, being one of those older moms who abso-frickin-lutely rock!
I hope you can draw inspiration from them as I have. If you are considering having a baby at 40 or beyond, I encourage you to follow your heart and please don’t worry about being a bit older than average!
These fine ladies are prime examples of women living their best lives and raising children with the pride, confidence, and experience that comes with being more seasoned.
Until next time, K.
Kelly is the founder and creative force behind Just Our View From Here. As a first-time mom over 40, she brings a fresh perspective to parenting and family life on her blog. Kelly also explores a wide range of lifestyle topics in her writing, including fashion, beauty, self-care, and well-being.
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Hi Jennie! Thanks so much for your kind comment. Reaching women like yourself who are looking for positive success stories is the reason why I feel it’s so important to share these successes. Your doctor is likely just being honest (which is a good thing in a way) but even though the odds are less for us, I always found it helpful to read about other moms over 40. There are many paths to motherhood! I wish you all the best in your journey. 😊❤️
I don’t know why people think it is so taboo to be an older Mom! I am a young Mom myself, and sometimes I do wish I was a touch older. Having kids when you’re over 40 means that you’ve had the chance to set up your life for success and now you’re able to set your children up for that same success. You’re no longer worrying about setting up a home or starting your career, you can truly focus on raising the kids without all the other things in young life that you need to deal with.